One of the reasons I chose to study abroad where I did was because it was a Catholic University in a Catholic country. I mean, Italy is home to Vatican City. However, they don’t have any clubs/organizations/societies on campus like they do at MSSU. I have not met any other practicing Catholics. I have tried to talk to nuns at Mass, but they do not speak any English. Without having that group of Catholics encouraging me in my faith, it has been very easy to fall into sin. I wanted this time away to focus on my faith and to find my vocation. Instead, I have been finding out how many strawberry vodka shots I can handle and enjoying the dance floors of Milan. Which, I’m twenty years old. I’m in another country. I’m not doing anything illegal. I’m having fun. Right? Wrong. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to pray the Rosary every night before bed. Even before I came to Italy, I didn’t keep the resolution. I was, however, praying every night before bed. Now, I am putting worldly pleasures before my prayers. I debated posting this, but not only could this post help someone else, but it also holds me accountable for my actions.
This morning I went to Mass in Milton Keynes, England. I was very thankful to attend Mass in English. However, the second reading made my heart feel very heavy.
Brothers and sisters:
Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.
If I go on living in the flesh,
that means fruitful labor for me.
And I do not know which I shall choose.
I am caught between the two.
I long to depart this life and be with Christ,
for that is far better.
Yet that I remain in the flesh
is more necessary for your benefit.
Only, conduct yourselves in a way worthy of the gospel of Christ.
I, as a human, am a very stubborn person. I do not like to admit when I am in the wrong. Today, God told me that I have been wrong.
Today, I am making a vow to myself and to God that I am done living in my sinful ways and I am ready to conduct myself in a way that is worthy of Him.
Thank you for reading and I hope you continue to support and love me through this journey.